I hope this message finds you all in good health and spirits. I wanted to share a personal
experience that has profoundly affected our family, hoping that it offers insight and
support for those going through similar situations.
As many of you know, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, my in-laws moved in with us for
safety and support. Unfortunately, last week, we faced the devastating loss of my
father-in-law. Since December, we have now lost both of my wife’s parents. The grief and
pain we are experiencing are immense, and the impact on our children and the family
has been challenging to navigate.
Depending on their age and developmental stage, children may experience grief
differently than adults. They might not fully comprehend the concept of death and may
be unable to express their emotions (that can be true for some adults as well). Some
common reactions include fear, guilt, sadness, anger, and even regression to earlier
behaviors (e.g., bedwetting or thumb-sucking). It’s important to remember that each
child is unique, and their reactions may vary.
As a family, the death of a loved one can lead to a variety of emotions and adjustments.
Each member might grieve differently, sometimes leading to misunderstandings or
conflicts. Open communication is crucial to help family members understand each
other’s feelings and provide mutual support. Don’t take it personally if your loved one is
angry and combative. They might not know how to deal with their emotions.
Here are some tips for helping children and the family as a whole cope with the loss of a
loved one:
1. Encourage open communication: Give children the space to express their
feelings and ask questions. Be honest and age-appropriate in your explanations,
and let them know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.
2. Maintain routines: While making time for grief is essential, maintaining daily
routines can provide children stability and security during this challenging period.
3. Offer comfort and reassurance: Remind children that they are loved and cared for
and that it’s normal to feel a range of emotions during this time. Offer physical
comfort, like hugs, and be patient with their grieving process.
4. Seek professional help if necessary: If a child or family member is struggling to
cope with the loss, consider seeking a therapist or counselor specializing in grief
and bereavement.
5. Create opportunities for remembrance: Encourage family members to share
loved ones. This can help children feel connected to the person they have lost
and help the family heal together.
To further support those who are grieving or know someone who is, I have compiled a
list of resources and support groups that may be helpful during this challenging time:
1. GriefShare ( ![]()
https://www.griefshare.org/): GriefShare offers support groups and
resources to help individuals navigate the grieving process. Their website allows
you to search for local support groups.
2. The Compassionate Friends ( ![]()
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/): This
organization supports families after a child dies, offering a network of local
chapters, online resources, and a helpline.
3. National Alliance for Grieving Children ( ![]()
https://childrengrieve.org/): NAGC
provides a comprehensive list of resources for grieving children, including
educational materials, local support programs, and a helpful blog.
4. Dougy Center ( ![]()
https://www.dougy.org/): The Dougy Center provides support for
children, teens, young adults, and their families who are grieving a death. They
offer local support groups, resources, and a podcast series.
5. Bereaved Parents of the USA ( ![]()
http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/): BPUSA is a
national non-profit organization that offers support to grieving parents, siblings,
and grandparents after the death of a child.
Coping with losing a loved one is never easy, especially during these unprecedented
times. By understanding the impact on children and the family and utilizing available
resources, we can better support each other through this challenging journey. Please
feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, and any other resources you have found
helpful in coping with the loss of a loved one.
Take care, and let’s continue to support one another in our journey through life’s
challenges.
Sincerely,
Andres “Empathizing” Mejer
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