The worst curse ... to lose all control | Eatontown, NJ

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The worst curse … to lose all control


Did your kids (or spouse) ever get you so angry you feel like you will lose your mind? The
rage boils over. By rage, I mean violent, uncontrollable anger. You are moments away
from losing all control. We all have breaking points; even the best parents lose their
cool. Perhaps the kids clogged the toilet again. Or they just broke your favorite lamp by
playing with a ball in the house. Or they are angry because you told them “No,” and they
yell and say hurtful things. I don’t have a name for that feeling, but it’s when the stress of
work, home, and children reaches a point, and you feel like you will explode.


Shortly after one of those moments, I read a passage from the Bible, Deuteronomy 26:1
to 29:3. In that section, one course, 28:9, jumped out at me. “…if you observe the
commandments of G-d, your G-d, and walk in his ways.” I couldn’t get it out of my head.
What does it mean “walk in his way?” The Sage Maimonidies tells us we must emulate
G-d as much as possible. Just as G-d is gracious, so should we. Just as He is
compassionate, so should we. We should do so not to benefit society, which it does, but
to resemble G-d. Just as G-d is … you are to be. But that didn’t speak to me. I couldn’t
relate to that.


lose control

So I did what anyone with questions does, ask Dr. Google. I found an explanation that
spoke to me. It was a comment by Rabbi Schneerson; he says, by emulating G-d, you will
not allow yourself to become emotionally “carried away” to an extreme. In attempting to
emulate G-d, you will always be conscious of the need to balance your attributes – like G-
d, whose qualities of kindness and severity are in perfect harmony. Given the argument I
had earlier, that comment stuck with me.


Kindness or severity. G-d may have that perfect balance, but I know I don’t, and chances
are you don’t. We may never find that ideal balance, but as long as we strive to “walk in
his way,” we can do better. We can have less anger, and we can have more control. And
hopefully, we can have a better world if we actively “walk” in that direction.


Andres “Walk” Mejer


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